preview

Expository Writing Class Analysis

Satisfactory Essays

This semester in Expository Writing class, I learned ways that can make my writing precise and professional looking. Specifically, I learned to revise my writing by using two skills of RADAR revision: deleting and reading, and I demonstrated my understanding of these skills in personal statement number 1 and 2.
The first skill I used is reordering. Using this skill I made my sentences more logical and made sure they flow well. In the draft of personal statement 11 I wrote, “I used to hear this phrase a lot in my childhood and, therefore, I wanted to experience it and for me experiencing it means growing up”. When I revised I changed my sentence to read, “I always used to hear this phrase “ stepping into real life”. Thus , I wanted to experience it and for me experiencing it means growing up”. This revision improved my personal statement because when I reordered my sentences, it made my writing precise and made more sense. In the sentence quoted above, I reordered three sentences into two. I introduced my phrase “stepping into real life” …show more content…

After using this skill I removed ideas which were unrelated, sentences that didn’t make sense and ideas that were repetitive. In the draft of the second personal statement I wrote, “She works hard and devotes her time as much as she can to work and support me and my brother financially. She also takes care of all the house chores from buying groceries to paying all the bills on time and cooking healthy food for us”. When I revised I changed my sentence to read, “My mother works hard and devotes her time as much as she can to work and support me and my brother”. This revision of deleting improved my personal statement by making it more precise and to the point.
This semester, I have improved my writing by using two skills: deleting and reordering. These skills are going to help me in the future as a writer by making my writing easy to read and interesting for the

Get Access