Looking at the finished product I turned in for Essay 1, I don’t think I deserved a 100%. As I read my essay I found nothing but mistakes and points left out. I then went back and read the first draft of that essay and man is there is difference. As I was reading my original essay I found out that I was inserting facts into sentences. That’s not bad but no the goal. The goal is to create a story about your hero’s journey and relate it to you. Mine was not that. Looking back on workshops and feedback I saw how much my paper had changed and how I raised my bar. I took sentences I had written and moved, created, and formed an essay that was different and better then the first draft; by creating a story. Now using all the knowledge, I have learned throughout the semester, I can use it revise my essay one …show more content…
Original: CTE Shenanigans Revised: CTE Shenanigans MK II The framework stayed strong as stated before, it had a great flow and a smooth story. The topic sentences need clarifying and to be mentioned again throughout the paper (i.e. The Hero’s Journey). The worst part of the paper to me were the transition, so I overhauled them to help the reader know where they were heading next. Original: “These two mentors also taught me literacies that many students I knew did not have and that was professional literacy.” Revised: “These two mentors also taught me literacies that many students I knew did not have, and that was professional literacy and technological literacy. These are concepts that I would continue to use today and help me along my journey in high school. Now let’s start from the beginning, when my hero’s journey started.” I also, took into consideration feedback pertaining to sentence detail and fluency in the story. My points in the paragraphs were on point but explanations was where I was lacking. Explanations were expanded upon in examples and detail. Original: No sentence, added detail and
As I grew older, I felt like a stranger in my own home. The concept of acquiring knowledge was and still is essential to me. My room was a foreign land, full of books and papers. Intrigued with writing and research, I was always reading news articles, attending seminars, and volunteering in my community as a youth mentor and
MacFarland had a love for teaching that was unmatched and unseen by the vocational students before his class. Rose had several years of academic indifference built up, only for MacFarland to break that down. Rose described his relationship with MacFarland as a “role model that wasn’t shaped on physical prowess alone” (34), Rose acknowledges that he wasn’t prepared for this new style of teaching. MacFarland ignited Rose’s love for reading and writing, simply by caring about his students, something that wasn’t done by the other educators. Rose was able to continue onto college, because he had a teacher that was willing to put in the time and effort to ensure a positive future for his student. MacFarland saw past the vocational track and lower level classes to actually teach the class and encourage them to truly
The Hunger Games, Star Wars, and A Wrinkle in Time all relate to the Hero’s Journey in different ways, but there are also similarities in the approach of Hero’s Journey. The refusal in Hunger Games and Star Wars are alike in the fact that Katniss and Luke’s choice of refusal is for the best of their family. Meg, however, has no choice and regrets going until she realizes that she will get her dad back. Crossing the threshold is different because Katniss has time to soak up the information and Luke just has to leave right away. During the point of the Test/ Allies/ Enemies, the stories are different by the intensity of the events; but they are also alike. The Hero’s Journey throughout the Hunger Games, Star Wars, and A Wrinkle in Time all have many differences and similarities in the approach of the Hero’s Journey.
The blood moon is a fateful night for all Werewolves, a child born on that night is sentenced for death, but through a twist of fate she is sparred, but her family is not. No one knows what happens if the blood moon child is allowed to grow, yet fate has a way of discovering secrets. Raised in wolf Form Ember becomes a relentless hunter, but what happens when she experiences her first full moon? Will she annihilate all werewolves like the prophecy foretold, or can predestination be overcome?
women on the couch. “The aging process is apparent to us in the first days of life. Those of us that are cursed age slower and stop at 30.”
Feeling exhausted and depleted throughout the hellish pregnancy, she hadn’t selected a name for the child she’d carried. Whereas, almost before she had found out she was expecting Jessica Jane; she’d picked out the name.
As we arrived at Gareth Fisher’s ranch, we pulled up to his modest home and hopped out of our vans. We were running late and he briefly introduced himself before we got back into the van and drove off to see some of the cattle. We were driving through these gorgeous green hills before we turned off on a dirt road and pulled next to a herd of a couple of hundred cattle in a corral. I thought this part was so interesting because the cattle stared right at us as we exited the van. They were as curious and tense as we were. At this point, Gareth started explaining more about his operation and how he started as a rancher. He told us that he actually does not own the land, but leases it from the State of California. He is allowed to use this land
I feel a cold chill as I slide my helmet down my greasy black hair. As I rub my right hand over the smooth metal of my handgun. I listen to the crashing water bashing into the side of the boat. Suddenly it stops, to create an eerie silence. We’re here. I kneel down and tighten the laces of my boots. As I let go of the laces, I realise that my hands are shaking unbearably. I still can’t believe that this is happening and a part of me wishes that I was back home or that I could just stay on the boat as everyone else invades Cobblers Bay. The sound of the heavy thud of boots echoes throughout the room as my comrades climb up the ladder. Christian quietly sobs as we prepare are gear. We met at school and have been friends ever since. He never wanted to join the army but he had no other choice as he was a conscript like me.
I woke up on friday may 27th , getting ready to leave for school and when L got to school i saw my two best friend outside both looking really sad and i walk up to them and aaliyah was crying and i asked what's wrong, She was too sad to tell me so my other friend lexi told me “mom died” at first i thought they were joking because how could she have died and i just said how and she started crying which made me cry i just wanted to scream and later on that day i was still wondering how stephani ,how could a beautiful,29 year old single mom with three kids that was always full of laughter and joy just die a couple days from her birthday and just at all.i have known her all my life well since i was four my heart broke i literally felt my heart
Allison tried not to worry about David. She also tried to go back to sleep, like the Sheriff suggested. Yet, as the hours of the late night ticked by she found it impossible to do so. It wasn’t that the cabin was uncomfortable. Nor was it that she still feared that the thing would find her. She’d determined hours prior that if it could track her through some normal or preternatural means then it would’ve crashed through the walls and finished what it started. The storm that surged through the area only caused her worry to increase as she laid in the inviting bed, staring at the ceiling.
I feel My Mum start to lift her head from my chest and her arms from around my middle. I have seen this move on television and have deduced, from studying the actors on the show, that this moving of the head means that the crying person is starting to not cry so I wait for My Mum to do the same.
A cool breeze lifted off the waves and struck Ella’s face. She walked along the edge of the beach, where the water met the sand, desperately trying to dodge each wave that crashed ever so close to her feet. Ahead of her, seagulls were fighting over something. Ella rushed over to where the seagulls were perched, sending a flock of birds screaming and squawking into flight and then landing back on the ground only meters away.
My hero’s journey started a year ago when I met my best friend, Michael. We met online and when we started talking we instantly became friends. He is tall and he is really smart and a good thinker, he loves to play basketball and he being just 16 he has accomplished so much. We had so much in common and I could talk to him about whatever and I knew he wouldn’t judge me. The only problem then was that he lived in Hollywood and I lived in Livermore. After a few months of talking to him we became best friends and we talked about his life mostly. He had depression and I like to think that when we talked I was helping him. We had a lot of really fun moments, we laughed, talked about when we would come visit each other and made plans but we
Culture: I love learning about culture. It is always one of my favorite parts about traveling.
My teachers, Mrs. Margaret Velvet and Professor Locke, inspired unto me creation and expression of self and dream. It is these two teachers that have both helped me survive in a time of much turmoil and strife, and accomplish what I didn’t even ponder as possible.