The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.

Yorkshire Proverbs

IF yer wife iz up-stairs, an yo call to hur, sho sez, “Commin in a minnit,” tack a two-mile wauk, an when yo get back agean, yo may calkelate at shool just hev cum daan.

If yer wife, after yov cum’d off on a journey, begins a axin if thear wor owt new ta be seen t’draper shop windaz, yo may calkelate at sho expected yo bringin hur summat.

If yer wife ligs yo aght a clean shirt, an yo cumplain abaght thear bein sum buttons off, yo may calkelate on hur sayin at sho wor sure at they wor all on reight enif when it whent ta be wesht.

“Aw sal nivvir hav t’gout a thee,” az owd Dot-an-carry-Won sed, wen e lewk’d daan at hiz wooden leg.

“They du az they like we t’little uns,” az t’owd cat sed, wen shoo saw hur kittens takken intut sossige-shop.

Luv’s like cobbler’s wax: t’moar yo meddle wit an t’bigger mess yo make, an t’cloaser it stick tul yo.

“That’s wat aw call laaying it on thick,” az t’lad sed, wen hiz fatthur wallop’t him wit cloaze-prop.

“Ther’s a baandary ta all things,” az t’chap sed, wen e ran hiz heead agea a brick wall.

“Smooth an thin, an takken in,” az t’shopkeeper sed, wen e lewk’d at t’bad shillin.

“Aw’m varry partial ta tender joints,” az t’rumatick sed tut chap’s leg.

“Noa moar, thank yo,” az t’cat sed when it saw t’ammonia bottle.