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The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.

College Humor


“The Seven Tees,” by K-pl-ng, W. S. (Columbia)

WHEN earth’s last hazard is taken, and the last opportunity teed,

When the smoothest greens are deserted, and the youngest caddy has “deed,”

We shall rest, and, faith, we shall need it—burn golf clubs and caddy bag, too,

Till the Master of all good golfers shall put us to play anew.

And those that played par shall be happy; they shall golf o’er the starry fair;

They shall clear each heavenly bunker with never a need to swear;

They shall find no bogies to beat them, and shall lower them every one;

They shall never top, slice, or foozle, and the duffer shall never be done.

And only the Master shall praise us, and only the Master shall blame;

And no one shall play for the gallery, and no one shall play for fame,

But each for the joy of golfing, and each on a star for a tee,

Shall call “fore” to an angel caddy, content that the Master should see.