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The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.

Catullus (c. 84–c. 54 B.C.)

The Roman Cockney

Stipends Anius even on opportunity shtipends,

Ambush as hambush still Anius used to declaim;

Then, hoped fondly the words were a marvel of articulation,

While with an h immense hambush arose from his heart.

So his mother of old, so e’en spoke Liber his uncle,

Credibly; so grandsire, grandam, alike did agree.

Syria took him away; all ears had rest for a moment;

Lightly the lips those words, slightly could utter again.

None was afraid any more of a sound so clumsy returning;

Sudden a solemn fright seized us: a message arrives.

“News from Sonia country; the sea, since Anius entered,

Changed; ’twas Ionian once, now ’twas Hionian all.”